Good old banks!
Let's hear it for the banking industry! They work hard to provide you with useful financial services and to make your savings grow. They also go that extra mile to fuck each and every client over in countless exciting new ways. Take the following ad for example...
click for larger version
In case you can't make out the caption, it says "It didn't seem right to us, either". Here we have part of a multi-million dollar ad campaign touting citibank's new "identity theft solutions". Whenever a purchase is made using your card that seems at odds with your credit history, citibank's system red flags and stops it. But what if the anomoly is a legitimate purchase? What if it's something that the cardholder may be a bit embarrassed about, say porn, plastic surgery, or as shown in the ad, a tattoo of grandma's young lover's name? What then? And why in the name of all that is holy are they trying to ram this evil intrusive shit down my throat as if it were a good thing™?
Funny how they fail to mention that legally, you can't really be held liable for any purchases made with a stolen card number. So the only ones who possibly stand to benefit from all this spying on the purchasing behaviour of cardholders is the banks. They're hoping to cut off a percentage of fraudulent purchases and pass the savings on to, well, their poor downtrodden shareholders. Legitimate purchases that are caught in their web be damned! After all, there is a higher need being served here. Obscenely high profits aren't good enough. Banks want to be richer than God.
But hey, stop thinking of it as an invasion of your privacy and a cash grab. Think of it more as a candy-coated shit sandwich. Hell, at least there's a pretty advertising campaign to lull anyone moronic enough to have a citibank card into thinking that this somehow benefits them. mmmmm... candy. They must really love us, those worthless, scum-sucking parasitic fucks who don't care who they screw over.
Remember kids: bankers, and especially citibankers, would sodomize their own mother with a rusty letter opener to make a few extra pennies. If they had mothers.
click for larger version
In case you can't make out the caption, it says "It didn't seem right to us, either". Here we have part of a multi-million dollar ad campaign touting citibank's new "identity theft solutions". Whenever a purchase is made using your card that seems at odds with your credit history, citibank's system red flags and stops it. But what if the anomoly is a legitimate purchase? What if it's something that the cardholder may be a bit embarrassed about, say porn, plastic surgery, or as shown in the ad, a tattoo of grandma's young lover's name? What then? And why in the name of all that is holy are they trying to ram this evil intrusive shit down my throat as if it were a good thing™?
Funny how they fail to mention that legally, you can't really be held liable for any purchases made with a stolen card number. So the only ones who possibly stand to benefit from all this spying on the purchasing behaviour of cardholders is the banks. They're hoping to cut off a percentage of fraudulent purchases and pass the savings on to, well, their poor downtrodden shareholders. Legitimate purchases that are caught in their web be damned! After all, there is a higher need being served here. Obscenely high profits aren't good enough. Banks want to be richer than God.
But hey, stop thinking of it as an invasion of your privacy and a cash grab. Think of it more as a candy-coated shit sandwich. Hell, at least there's a pretty advertising campaign to lull anyone moronic enough to have a citibank card into thinking that this somehow benefits them. mmmmm... candy. They must really love us, those worthless, scum-sucking parasitic fucks who don't care who they screw over.
Remember kids: bankers, and especially citibankers, would sodomize their own mother with a rusty letter opener to make a few extra pennies. If they had mothers.
posted by Foog at 1:06 a.m.
0 comments
